My very first parent-teacher conference today. Well, my very first time on the parent end of the conference. I couldn’t have dreamed of a better conference. Marley is a very smart, compassionate, curious boy. He loves school, is well behaved, and happy. What more could a parent ask for? I love this boy with all my heart and he couldn’t have made me anymore proud of him. He is incredible.
A 6 month check today. Six months ago we first went to Shriner’s Hospital to get the official congenital scoliosis diagnosis for Cale. We left feeling very optimistic, but still with a lot of uncertainty in our hearts. Would surgery be eminent? Would our family be turned upside down? Would our baby takes months to recover? Would we ever have another baby?
Some questions were answered today and some were left to the fates. But, all in all, it was a good visit. Cale’s scoliosis has not progressed much in 6 months. He has a major growth spurt behind him and looks good clinically. That means when you look at his x-rays he looks like he should be more malformed. His shoulders should be more slumped and showing more signs of his scoliosis. He looks relatively normal. This has the doctor very optimistic about his upper curve. His lower curve he is not quite as optimistic about.
No surgeries as of now, however, if surgery occurs it is less scary than Matt and I have been envisioning. Yes, spinal surgery. Yes, extremely dangerous. Yes, any parent would be and should be freaked. But we have one of the best doctors in the world treating him. There are few orthopedics who have done as many surgeries as our doctor for this condition. Plus, our doctor has this way of making you feel like it is all going to be fine, without belittling the seriousness of the condition. When you are in the best hands, comfort just seems to envelope you.
I think I know what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving.
That’s our hope after a hard conversation today. Matt had a talk with the director of Brodie’s preschool. We pulled him from his class. The class is very stressful right now as a result of some strong personalities. Brodie can be very lively at home and, at times, a handful However, in school he is another creature. He is shy, reserved, and often anxious. He voices frequently how he doesn’t like to be around a lot of kids. That is something he is going to have to get used to. But that anxiety is even further heightened when a child with problems is not dealt with correctly. Our problem is with the staff, not the child. I know, as a former teacher, that children need to learn to deal with ALL types of personalities, even the not so nice ones. But there needs to be a supportive adult, who is not overwhelmed with stress, facilitating these interactions. In addition, the added stress has compromised learning in the classroom.
Luckily, the director is an incredible person. She loves her job and genuinely cares for the children. She understood all of our concerns. Brodie will begin in a new class after Thanksgiving. We will have a few weeks at home together and then begin anew. Hopefully this change will be something that will help Brodie blossom and spread his wings.
I love the look of the flowers in Autumn. There is just something so gorgeous about flowers at the end of their life cycle. The colors and shapes are one of my favorite parts of the season.
One of my absolute favorite parts of fall and winter are the fires. So cozy. So warm. So delicious.
Yes, delicious. There’s nothing like a s’more in the comfort of your own home.
anyone and anything that’s loved by you.”
~Charlie Brown
maybe we will have a few moments to sit back and stretch our paws.
I know another play on words, but it can’t be helped. Last week Marley and Brodie were playing, “let’s slide and pretend to fall down”. Seemed like the last thing I would want to do, but they were entertaining themselves, getting along, and not wrestling. I’ll take it. As I sat and drank my first cup of coffee that morning, I watched, like it was in slow motion, as Brodie fell to the ground and started rolling over. Just then Marley started sliding. Brodie’s feet sweep around and trip Marley.
Much like Tom in Tom and Jerry, when he is hit by a pan in the head, Marley just fell right over. No trying to catch himself. No body movements. Stiff as board. Someone should have called out, “TIMBER!” Down he went onto his left arm. *Begin crying and screaming now.* After I calmed him down, I inspected things. He could move it, but it hurt and movement was limited. Fighting my natural panic instinct, I told myself he was not going to fall apart and we will see how he feels in a few hours.
*Fast forward a few hours.* I take him to the pediatrician because he is still having trouble moving it and in pain. She tells me she is 99% sure it is not broken and instead of exposing him to needless radiation, she’s not going to do x-rays unless he is still having problems in a few days. The weekend comes and goes and the arm is better. But I notice that when he runs he is holding it straight and grabbing at it. Feeling like I am just focusing on it, I try to let it go. But then a friend on our way home from school notices it as well. I realize it is not me being oversensitive to it.
In we go for x-rays. This day is not going as I had planned… Now we wait for the doctor to review the x-rays.
*Phone rings*.
“Hello.”
“Hello, Mrs. Abrew?”
“Yes.”
“This is the nurse from the pediatrician’s office. The doctor reviewed the x-rays and Marley has a fracture in his humerus. I have an appointment set up at 2 pm with the orthopedic for Marley.”
“Thank you.”
Thank you? Why am I thanking anyone from this doctor’s office? We have hit the final straw and I am now on a pediatrician search. There have been WAY too many times my concerns have been poo pooed. I understand mistakes. I forgave mistakes or overlooks. Even ones as big as joint pains and strange gaits, which would have given us scoliosis information much earlier. Times when I had to recommend that Marley’s speech get evaluated. And most recently when Cale’s scoliosis was never addressed during his well check. Doctors are human too.
But at a certain point too many mistakes start to feel like you are not receiving quality care. That your voice is not being heard. That you are just another face in the crowd of patients. As any parent before me and any parent after me knows, your child’s health is more important than anything. Anything. One thing I learned from Cale’s scoliosis, Matt and I are our children’s only advocates. We are the only ones who are going to walk through fire for them. I can not and will not be ignored with the concerns I have for my children’s health.
I got a bit sidetracked. Marley is fine. The fracture is small enough that he only needed a sling. He has to be very careful these next few weeks since the bone is now weak. But he is fine. He hates that he can’t do gym at school, but loves that he can have everyone sign his sling.
And, yes, Marley’s neck is really that fuzzy. LOL
The day that started with whine ended with wine.
I love when I find something, anything, that inspires my photographic eye. It’s like a drug. You crave to be inspired and when you see something inspiring, the high starts.
Yesterday I walked into the grocer’s and found my inspiration. These little flowers were like none I had ever seen. Obviously a type of sunflower, but not your typical bright yellow sunflower. These were very warm oranges and browns, such as autumn feels. I came to find that they are indeed sunflowers. But they tinted the sunflowers with an orange dye. What the orange did to the petals was appealing, but even more appealing was what the dye did to the leaves. It just screamed for a vintage processing.
The beautiful white “fur” on the stems spoke to my black and white obsession.
