Pay It Forward

Selflessly, that is exactly what Brodie did today, pay it forward.

Everyone, graciously, got up at the crack of dawn, got ready, and loaded into the car to watch me run my very first race. It is a lot to ask of little boys who stay up into the wee hours reading. Also, of Matt to help happily motivate 4 tired children to be happy and encouraging to one very nervous mama. But they all did it and things went off without a glitch and with time to kill. So, Marley and Brodie decided to assist me further by offering to warm up with me around the lake at the Arboretum. In our warm up run, we found a little nook we had never seen before. With still time to kill, we decided to explore.

“Lucky day!” I hear Brodie say from behind some cattails. He emerges and shows me the lucky penny he found by the water’s edge.
“Must be your lucky day!” I say to him.
“Oh no, it is your lucky day. I’m giving my wish to you so you can have a good race.”

My heart melts as I take the penny from him and tuck it into the back pocket of my running shorts.

And it was a lucky day. I could not have asked for a better first race. I had so much fun, performed well, and knew the whole time I had 5 people cheering me on.
And one lucky penny aligning the fates. Thanks Brodie!

Four Pins

First race tomorrow.

Nervous.

Excited.

Nervous.

From Different Worlds

From the day Brodie was born, I knew that he and Marley were complete opposites.  From who they resembled to their personalities to what they liked to eat, opposites.

Right here, 6 and a half years later, I have the picture to prove it.

At school there was a “dress like what you want to be when you grow up.  Marley, completely confident in himself, decided he wanted to dress as a Daddy.  So, we made a makeshift sling and grabbed one of our baby dolls and he was set.  Now it was Brodie’s turn.  And, as I said, on the complete opposite end of parenting and nurturing, he chose “an army guy”.  Albeit, it was hard for this tree hugging, peace loving hippie to swallow, I focused on the honor and protection soldiers are dedicated towards.  But I knew the real appeal was fighting and weapons.  Opposites.

I should also add that I, in no way, staged this photo.  Brodie chose to point his finger gun at me and Marley put his arm around Brodie and went to loving his baby.  How do such opposites end up the best of friends?

Seeping In

Phone call.
Early morning.
When will he see?
Until then, worry.
Brewing and bellowing.
Winds whipping.
Pushing against me.
Storms raging.

Go.
Find your pace.
That magical place.
Feet floating
No effort.
Arms sway.
The girl that couldn’t run.
Running.

Final test.
Answers.
Uncertainty revealed.
Until then, worry.
Building for over a year.
Getting higher and wider.
Big, strong, ever looming.
A wall.

Run.
Find a way around the wall.
Feel free.
Head jostling.
Legs strong.
Lungs panting easily.
Miles behind me.
Still no gap.

Feel it.
Nothing and everything.
All at once.
Take it in.
Don’t let go.
Move right through it.
Testament of strength.
Pride.

Glorious movement.
So naturally ours.
Naturally mine.
Inviting the heat.
Warm and welcome.
Bursting through.
Beading on the skin.
Proof.

I am alive.
I am here.
I will feel.
I will falter.
I won’t give up.
I won’t pass.
I go.
I run.

Favorites

It has been awhile since I was an avid reader, mainly due to small humans consuming much of my time, but the love has returned and with a vengeance. Matt got me a kindle last year and I love that thing. I love that it is compact, cute, and convenient. More than all of that I love that it is green. Yes, I too still love a good book, touching the pages, smelling the ink, all of that. But if I think of all the crappy books I have bought and trees I killed in doing so, it really is sad. I think a mix of new technology and old school flipping pages is a good balance.

Best Gift Ever

Perry started saying “Mama” shortly after the cochlear was activated, but then it faded away. There was a resurgence of “Mama” a few weeks ago and undeniable evidence that he also knew what “Mama” meant.

Matt has been patient. Since Perry’s diagnosis, we had both longed to hear him say our names.

Matt’s birthday was this past Monday. I had been feverishly working with Perry to get him to say “DADA” in the hopes he would spit it out when the big day came around.

Last Thursday we had a CRAZY day and incident with a CRAZY woman at the playground. Everyone was kind of shaken up and not really together when we got home. We all trudged upstairs for bath. Someone accidentally left the gate open. In the discussions with the older boys about this crazy lady, Perry found his way to the stairs and tumbled to the bottom. I ran faster than I have ever run and shot down the stairs. He was already sitting up and crying his poor sweet head off. Since he had already righted himself I knew his neck and back were fine and felt okay about scooping him up. Matt came to see how Perry was doing and started comforting him as I was holding him. Perry looked up at him, was babbling a bunch of gibberish and then burst out with “DADA”, looked at Matt and said again, “DADA”. That fall and knock on the noggin, finally got those long awaited words out.

Thankfully, Perry is fine and, while a few days early, that was Matt’s best gift ever.

It Was SO Thoughtful

For Cale to share his shamrock sunglasses with Hobbes.

Favorite part (after the pissed off look on his face, of course)… piece of glitter on his nose.